13 Comments
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ebun's avatar

I loved this! I’ve been dealing with a situation quite similar so it was like a warm relatable hug. The whole situation was just a cognitive dissonance battle between ignoring the red flags and wishing to be a lover girl. The hardest part is avoiding shaming myself for not realising earlier how crap it was/ I was being treated. I also struggle with balancing the fact that I actually did like him? There’s some hidden space in my brain that’s like you couldn’t possibly and shouldn’t have liked someone that has treated you like that/ was obviously not in the mental space for this? I have to just keep telling myself I’m young and learning lessons in love. But oh my gosh it is gut wrenching to think back and not understand why I didn’t just run 😭 THE INTERNAL SHAME IS REALL (but working on itttttttt)

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Aswan Magumbe's avatar

This is so refreshing my loves! Sometimes I think it’s not ignoring red flags, it’s just not wanting to believe the worst about some immediately :( nonetheless, we learn our lesson don’t we? Love isn’t ever something we should ever feel shame for! When utilised and applied the right way, what a beautiful force it is🥹 I appreciate you both for being vulnerable with me, with each other — with yourselves!! That’s so powerful and something to be so proud of. So much love you both, kisses and hugs🤍🤍🤞🏾

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Ilva's avatar

Feeling this. Internal shame about the fact that I liked someone who wasn’t treating me the way I should have been treated is so real! But I remind myself with the fact that it only shows how good of a person I am. 🙏

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Emilie Mendham's avatar

'God, this can't be your best for me' is my favourite sentence I've read all year and something I plan on keeping as a reminder - your whole piece is beautiful, relatable, and raw. Love this Aswan! X

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Aswan Magumbe's avatar

My darling Emilie, thank you so much🥹 and please do stick to it! Trusting the words will take you so far! Definitely taken a lot of inspiration from your vulnerability - love YOU!! X

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Michelle Mentu's avatar

Everytime I come back to this I FEEL it so bad

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Aswan Magumbe's avatar

Girl…so real bc wtf

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sms's avatar

I loved this so much, thank you for sharing. I would love to get your pov on my newest article where i discuss flings and situationships

https://open.substack.com/pub/urcoolaunt888/p/i-remember-everything?r=4gftfr&utm_medium=ios

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Precious Stephens's avatar

When women make mistakes in love, it’s often accompanied by patronizing questions/assumptions, along with attempts to shame us into “choosing better” next time. And that Alain de Botton quote is everything.

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Aswan Magumbe's avatar

YES!!!!! And I’m over women feeling guilty for one of their greatest assets: their ability to love

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Ilva's avatar

Thank you for sharing this story and feelings. I think a lot of people can relate to this (myself included!). It takes time to grieve situations like this but I truly believe that it also shows what kind of a person you are - someone who is capable of giving love to people who possibly don’t deserve that from us. It also means that we can hold the same love for ourselves.

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Aswan Magumbe's avatar

‘It takes time to grieve situations like this’ !!!!!! Massively so. But what a blessing to have that time, and to still feel. It’s reassuring that we hold that same love for ourselves, and that’s only set to grow. My love to you darling💛

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Ilva's avatar

Cheers to growing and spreading love! ❤️

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