I loved this! I’ve been dealing with a situation quite similar so it was like a warm relatable hug. The whole situation was just a cognitive dissonance battle between ignoring the red flags and wishing to be a lover girl. The hardest part is avoiding shaming myself for not realising earlier how crap it was/ I was being treated. I also struggle with balancing the fact that I actually did like him? There’s some hidden space in my brain that’s like you couldn’t possibly and shouldn’t have liked someone that has treated you like that/ was obviously not in the mental space for this? I have to just keep telling myself I’m young and learning lessons in love. But oh my gosh it is gut wrenching to think back and not understand why I didn’t just run 😭 THE INTERNAL SHAME IS REALL (but working on itttttttt)
This is so refreshing my loves! Sometimes I think it’s not ignoring red flags, it’s just not wanting to believe the worst about some immediately :( nonetheless, we learn our lesson don’t we? Love isn’t ever something we should ever feel shame for! When utilised and applied the right way, what a beautiful force it is🥹 I appreciate you both for being vulnerable with me, with each other — with yourselves!! That’s so powerful and something to be so proud of. So much love you both, kisses and hugs🤍🤍🤞🏾
Feeling this. Internal shame about the fact that I liked someone who wasn’t treating me the way I should have been treated is so real! But I remind myself with the fact that it only shows how good of a person I am. 🙏
'God, this can't be your best for me' is my favourite sentence I've read all year and something I plan on keeping as a reminder - your whole piece is beautiful, relatable, and raw. Love this Aswan! X
My darling Emilie, thank you so much🥹 and please do stick to it! Trusting the words will take you so far! Definitely taken a lot of inspiration from your vulnerability - love YOU!! X
When women make mistakes in love, it’s often accompanied by patronizing questions/assumptions, along with attempts to shame us into “choosing better” next time. And that Alain de Botton quote is everything.
Thank you for sharing this story and feelings. I think a lot of people can relate to this (myself included!). It takes time to grieve situations like this but I truly believe that it also shows what kind of a person you are - someone who is capable of giving love to people who possibly don’t deserve that from us. It also means that we can hold the same love for ourselves.
‘It takes time to grieve situations like this’ !!!!!! Massively so. But what a blessing to have that time, and to still feel. It’s reassuring that we hold that same love for ourselves, and that’s only set to grow. My love to you darling💛
I loved this! I’ve been dealing with a situation quite similar so it was like a warm relatable hug. The whole situation was just a cognitive dissonance battle between ignoring the red flags and wishing to be a lover girl. The hardest part is avoiding shaming myself for not realising earlier how crap it was/ I was being treated. I also struggle with balancing the fact that I actually did like him? There’s some hidden space in my brain that’s like you couldn’t possibly and shouldn’t have liked someone that has treated you like that/ was obviously not in the mental space for this? I have to just keep telling myself I’m young and learning lessons in love. But oh my gosh it is gut wrenching to think back and not understand why I didn’t just run 😭 THE INTERNAL SHAME IS REALL (but working on itttttttt)
This is so refreshing my loves! Sometimes I think it’s not ignoring red flags, it’s just not wanting to believe the worst about some immediately :( nonetheless, we learn our lesson don’t we? Love isn’t ever something we should ever feel shame for! When utilised and applied the right way, what a beautiful force it is🥹 I appreciate you both for being vulnerable with me, with each other — with yourselves!! That’s so powerful and something to be so proud of. So much love you both, kisses and hugs🤍🤍🤞🏾
Feeling this. Internal shame about the fact that I liked someone who wasn’t treating me the way I should have been treated is so real! But I remind myself with the fact that it only shows how good of a person I am. 🙏
'God, this can't be your best for me' is my favourite sentence I've read all year and something I plan on keeping as a reminder - your whole piece is beautiful, relatable, and raw. Love this Aswan! X
My darling Emilie, thank you so much🥹 and please do stick to it! Trusting the words will take you so far! Definitely taken a lot of inspiration from your vulnerability - love YOU!! X
Everytime I come back to this I FEEL it so bad
Girl…so real bc wtf
I loved this so much, thank you for sharing. I would love to get your pov on my newest article where i discuss flings and situationships
https://open.substack.com/pub/urcoolaunt888/p/i-remember-everything?r=4gftfr&utm_medium=ios
When women make mistakes in love, it’s often accompanied by patronizing questions/assumptions, along with attempts to shame us into “choosing better” next time. And that Alain de Botton quote is everything.
YES!!!!! And I’m over women feeling guilty for one of their greatest assets: their ability to love
Thank you for sharing this story and feelings. I think a lot of people can relate to this (myself included!). It takes time to grieve situations like this but I truly believe that it also shows what kind of a person you are - someone who is capable of giving love to people who possibly don’t deserve that from us. It also means that we can hold the same love for ourselves.
‘It takes time to grieve situations like this’ !!!!!! Massively so. But what a blessing to have that time, and to still feel. It’s reassuring that we hold that same love for ourselves, and that’s only set to grow. My love to you darling💛
Cheers to growing and spreading love! ❤️