when i get to Djerf Avenue...
[to the key of Warwick Avenue by Duffy] also, i've never been more thankful not to own a dressing gown :)
Welcome to day two of Substackmas! Let’s get right in :) 💌
[DISCLAIMER: On this subby, we draw the line at gossip, so please don’t expect that from this xxx ]
I remember first discovering a Swedish influencer on Instagram a few years ago when she discussed the impact of her medical difficulties - an ectopic pregnancy which left her without one of her fallopian tubes. I couldn’t relate, but I certainly felt saddened for her, even more so after hearing about her desire to have children with her partner. She never quite got a follow from me because there was no relatability, she really just ended up on my feed one day - but she was popular, so I’d check on homegirl from time to time.
How many years later, probably another few, and whispers of a Djerf Avenue opening grew popular. Why were people getting excited over the opening of a road? Ha ha, got you. It wasn’t for Google Maps fans, but rather, it was, you guessed it, another influencer-founded brand based on Djerf’s own interests and a way for her supporters to ‘feel closer’ to her…
In the last week, her name has populated the internet for more sour reasons: bullying in the workplace and beyond. I’m not saying this to be or come across as self-righteous, but I felt sad for her again. Or maybe it’s not sadness for her but disappointment.
Since the news broke on Aftonbladet, the Swedish news outlet that former employees told their story, some of the biggest news outlets have reported on the situation. Everyone from the BBC to The Independent and The Cut has added their two pence, and it still doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
As of writing this, Djerf took to her Instagram two nights ago to apologise to her followers and, well, whoever else cared to listen. It was quickly met with scrutiny. She explained how her ‘highest priority’ was to meet and speak with her Djerf Avenue team, then acknowledged that, at present, her words are neither ‘an answer or solution’. Then, an apology was given, followed by her surprise at how big the company had grown. “I wasn’t ready. I had never had a team prior to this, I never built a company prior to this, and under a lot of stress, high tempo and naivety, I failed to be the leader and colleague I wish to be along the way,” she wrote. And that’s where she lost me.
How many people have never been part of a team structure in a corporate setting, aren’t the founders of companies, have or haven’t had to deal with times of stress, busy periods and lesser knowledge, and yet have never been accused of bullying and prejudice? The answer is many. And many people responded to her post sharing this same sentiment:
“Experience has nothing to do with being a nice human,” said a verified user.
“Not knowing how to be a leader has nothing to do with treat[ing] others humanly,” voiced another.
“Being an inexperienced leader has nothing to do with treating others with respect,” another expressed.
The comments went on:
“You don’t need to be ready to be nice.”
“You don’t need to hire any kind of team to simply be nice and empathetic. It’s just a natural humane thing to do.”
“You never leading a team has absolutely nothing to do with the personal insults and mental abuse you put your staff through while in a position of power.”
“Being nice is free and common sense. No external party is needed.”
And, of course, because it wouldn’t be Instagram without it: “I’ll forgive you if everything is 75% off…”
I don’t want to be an NPC, but I wholeheartedly agree - and I had that thought process when I initially read it on my own — thank you xxx. Truthfully, I hate when incidents like this happen, especially to women entrepreneurs, because it already takes us a great deal to overcome those hurdles to reach those peaks. Obviously, not all the credit can go to Djerf herself, she most likely has a skilled team around her - although, judging by her statement, maybe not so skilled enough(?) - nonetheless, my heart always cheers when another woman makes it. It cries out a THANK YOU to whoever and whatever made it happen. However, so many times, these achievements are tarnished by women who don’t know how to ‘behave’, and I mean no gendered offence by that. What I mean is that they never realised that emotional maturity is required to be a leader - or just a decent human being. Kindness isn’t just ‘nice to have’ but is a non-negotiable for leadership. We (women) don’t have to play ‘like the guys’ in order to see the same numbers or momentum. Our stories don’t have to include having never quite retired that mean girl status from high school simply because we refused to grow up.
On the contrary, I have to ask if this is fair for me to say when men entrepreneurs can act the same way and won’t be called a ‘bitch’ for it — or it’s highly unlikely they will be. Men can be cheered on for treating business like a playground, while women aren’t afforded those same graces. But I’m coming at this from a human level, I hope. A standard which wouldn’t accept this anyone, point blank period.
Structurally, I refuse to believe that the company has “hired a more experienced management team” in a week, as her statement implies. I’m glad they’ve “set up an external organisational psychologist” (???) and brought in “an additional external HR professional to support the organisation” because why weren’t they in place before? For a company that hit around the £27.5 million revenue mark last year, these should’ve been non-negotiables upon hitting their first million. I have unfortunately learned the (brutally) hard way that a company without these is a place where one’s suffering can only worsen - as things evidently have done. No amount of external psychologists or HR professionals can fix what should’ve been foundational — and sadly, the damage has been done.
Also, when I hear (or experience) instances of bullying in the workplace specifically, I always think, ‘Damn, this is someone’s child’. Don’t you think?
Another issue arising from this is the heaps of video evidence left for too long (on YouTube) that people all too quickly rushed to screen record. In the last few days, I have watched myself as Djerf made quick remarks and comments to some of her (incredibly young) employees that weren’t at all a sign of ‘closeness’ or ‘trust’ but overstepping multiple boundaries as a person in power — and that’s not an exaggeration. Whether snide or smug or not, those were things that just simply shouldn’t have been said as many times as they were by a founder…sigh. As expected, these videos have since been taken down.
In a way, this whole ‘scandal’ has honed in on social media's impact in bringing about justice, or at least what they determine it to be. Tech-savvy, social justice warriors are readily on hand to fight the cause of the innocent and marginalised. With the growing technical intelligence of social media and the Internet, there is no worse time to have your wrongs amplified than now. For Djerf, this will linger. It may fizzle out, but the World Wide Web proves ruthless and impenitent in completely extending forgiveness to those they believed ‘should’ve known better’.
Oppositely, it makes me think of the case (or rather person) that’s currently captured social media’s heart (and eyes, apparently): Luigi Mangione1 — perhaps farfetched, but he’s certainly the Internet’s favourite, at least. In TikTok comment sections in the lead up to his arrest, his consequent arrest, and now its aftermath, people are pleading that he be freed. In an interview with NewsNation’s senior reporter Ashleigh Banfield, prisoners yelled out from their cells demanding he be freed. It’s oddly, and equally, eery and incredible. Let it be known that we will never condone murder over here, but I can’t (nor can some of the Internet) shake that his message was more significant — that there was a bigger evil he was attempting to combat in the demand for justice…
Ultimately, the bigger picture can only be that we hope Djerf learns her lesson - she and everyone who was complicit in these allegations and hasn’t been voiced. It’s always tricky to quantify how someone in the limelight has truly acted upon criticism — often, they don’t. They wait for the fire to die down and the fog to clear before going again. Sadly, very few figures in positions like Matilda’s genuinely change. And why would they? Going back to their old ways means sustaining, or potentially even making more, money, garnering greater notoriety and, in this case especially, expanding one’s business. What we can learn from this is never to conflate ego with confidence, people with currency, and popularity with integrity — it’s just never worth it.
So, what happens next? If it follows the pattern of other apologies from public figures, influencers, or celebrities, we know how this goes: a little bit of silence, especially after Christmas when people have unravelled their Djerf Avenue from under the tree, a few likes to supportive comments and posts across social channels, and a comeback—maybe even a revamp. All I can say is that I’ve never shopped from Djerf Avenue, and I’m not about to start now :)
How blessed am I?
Substackmas day two: complete! See you tomorrow ❤️
Maybe (MAYBE) more on this at a later date…I can’t tell yet whether I have the mental capacity to tackle the magnitude of this case.